SO
I saw you today, for the first time in a long time.
Why can’t I let go? I just don’t understand. There’s something special about you, I don’t know what it is. But it’s keeping me from letting go of you.
And that’s not okay.
Our friendship is useless. This is just useless.
I was missing you so much today, that I went through our entire thread (it was really long) and read every single post. I gave you this advice once. I hope you still follow it:
“But I think that you should keep your heart open. Don’t ever close your heart to love. Because a lot of the time, it comes when you’re not expecting it, in a person that you would never expect it to come in.(BELIEVE ME!) It’s unpredictable..& it hurts. But don’t give up on it! It’s okay to be sad..you just gotta stay strong.”
And I told you this, on March 14th, 3:08 P.M.
“& I’m serious when I say i’m not mad at you. I’m not. I’m disappointed but thats kind of my own problem. I’ve decided the best thing to do for both of us is for me to let go. Up till now you’ve been my security blanket..the 1st person I came to when I needed help, the 1st person that came in to my mind when I thought the word “friend” So i’m letting go of you as my security blanket..not to say that it won’t take a while..it will; but i’m doing my absolute best. & it doesn’t mean that we’re not still friends..we are. It just means I won’t be annoying & clingy & always there. Not to say I won’t always be there for you..I will. No matter what. But yeah…its the best for you. & most probably the best for me too. I’ve realized now that its pointless trying to make you change..because you’re just not going to. Not cause you don’t want to..simply because you can’t..or at least you think you can’t. Yeah…Bye bye security blanket..you’ve given me a lot of comfort…but..you’ve given me just as much pain.”
And I still stand by it.
Everyday I force myself to let go of you.
I wonder if it will ever happen.
I love you. Hang in there, and don’t forget i’m here for you. It’ll be okay.
…hi! I miss you.
